Pursue Studies, Why Not?

Salam w.b.t and hello people.

I always get this from many people, "Hey Atiqah, don't you want to pursue studies?", "Don't you want to be a lecturer?", "Are you going to do Master after this?", and other questions but with similar meaning.

Always, my answer will be “NO”. Then, the common following question from them is, “Why?” Saying “NO” is the easiest part in this situation, whereas the “Why” is the most difficult part.

I have a lot of reasons of why I am not doing Master or pursue studies. When I say ‘a lot’, I really mean it. One sentence would not be enough to describe this. It is not that I did not get the opportunity, in fact, I got two chances to pursue studies at higher level.

The first one was Master in Chemical Engineering at UWA, Perth and the second one was Master in Aerospace at Cranfield University, UK. Both were sponsored, and I declined. You guys must think I am an imbecile for rejecting the chances, right?

I have my reasons, people. Therefore, I summarise them here.

Responsibility

Before I completed my undergraduate course, pursuing studies in Master was not my favourite idea, even now. My goal is to make my mother live happily, fulfil all her dreams, and stop working. I am the eldest, and I have huge responsibilities. Therefore, I must work to support my family. I started to apply for Master when most of my friends did so back in mid-2013. At the time, I was not really clear with direction I want to take, so I just go with the flow. My mother was not really happy with the idea and she was worried. In the meantime, I also found that I did not really into this. I want to work, support my family, and gain money as well as experience. For me, experience is much more valuable than the beautiful postgraduate transcript.

Purpose

If you want to pursue in something, in this case, studies, you must have a purpose. Ask yourself first, “Why do you want to further studies?”. When I first start doing my final year project, I read a saying, “Doing thesis is not about just experimenting or whatsoever, it is about contributing to the academic world”.

From my stance, I am not sure how and what can I contribute to the world if I do Master. During my degree, I did my thesis for the sake of finishing my degree course, not more than that. Consequently, I had a hard time and I did not enjoy doing it. I do not want to go similar experience again and waste another year by doing Master without a clear objective, then regret my decision.

Whatever it is, I do not have any objective to do Master. Besides, I don’t know what course to do.

Schlumberger

Yes, even though I have not yet start, I am 150% confident that I will learn and experience more once I am start working with Schlumberger. It will be the mix of theory and hands-on experience in extremely challenging environment.

And, I am really looking forward to it.

Escape

From my personal opinion, people who pursue studies is like fleeing from reality. It sounds negative, huh? But that is my opinion, my personal opinion. I am sorry if it hurts your feeling.

I often heard my friends said, “With Master, will get a fat paycheck compared to Degree”, “Recruiter’s attention will be more on candidates with higher level of education”, “I don’t want to go back to my homeland yet, so it gives me more time to stay oversea”, “Follow my husband/wife finish studies”, and the list goes on.

So far, I heard none said like, “I love doing research and I believe I can contribute to the world through my research”. None.

Thus, I conclude that they are escaping from reality or should I say, delay their time from facing the reality.

You know, reality is harsh.

In reality, having Master will not guarantee you will get much higher pay than degree/diploma graduate, particularly in Malaysia. In addition, with current state of economy, the employers want the best employees but with low pay. Other than that, HR’s attention will not necessarily interested to the person with higher qualification. It is a competition, real life competition with infinity number of rules.

Whatever it is, reality is bitter and difficult. The sooner you face the reality, the better you adapt to it.

Sharing your experiences, not your theories

In small part of myself, I always want to be a person who shares knowledge. You can acknowledge it as a lecturer, teacher, educator, or whatever. The knowledge I would like to share is the knowledge I got from my experience, not the theories from textbooks. In order to share the experiences, I must first experience it myself.

Someone once said to me, in Malaysia, a lot of lecturers at the universities. However, they are lacking industrial experiences. Not all lecturers of course, only some. These people can only teach from textbooks, which is not really helpful as students can also refer to the textbook themselves.

Back in Australia, most of the lectures have knowledge and experiences in the industry, thus the learning process become more fascinating for me. The faculty always invited the guests from well-known companies in related industry to share their expertise. This is so valuable, and indirectly inspired me to become “the guest” one day.

These are my reasons, and everyone has their own reasons. No problem though, as we cannot force people to accept our reasons, as we also sometimes prone to object other’s reasons. Well, maybe in the future, Allah S.W.T destine me to further studies, we never know. But for now, I am comfortable with my decision of not pursuing studies at higher level.

That’s it from me, people. If you have comments, do not hesitant to drop it below. As usual, take care and Salam w.b.t.

P/S – Sir Lokman, from SLB came to my house last Saturday together with his wife and kids. What an unexpected guests :D 

Accident

Salam w.b.t and hello, dear readers.

How are you guys doing? I am doing ok :)

In my previous post, I did mentioned about me got into an accident. This time, I would like to share the timeline of the event. It was on Saturday (25/7), after work. On Saturday, it is a half-day work and we can left the office around 12 noon. I was planning to go home around 2-3 pm, as the road is very congested on Saturday as people want to go to the shopping malls in Rawang. Besides, I can do some works at office.

Suddenly, around 12.20 pm, I changed my mind. I want to go home, so I packed my stuffs and left the office. The traffic was not really bad, but still, a lot of cars. The Raya mood was still in the air, people may come from various destinations to visit their relatives or friends.

I was driving, but my head was not focus on it. Many things were in my head, and my mind was not really into the road in front of me. This poor behaviour of mine took its toll when I arrived at Sungai Dua, Rawang around 1.00 pm. The road was very narrow, the three lanes will have to converge to become one lane. So, the cars were very slow and the distance was close to one another.

After my car got into one lane, I drove and an orange Proton Gen2 was in front of my car. I could see the people in that car talked happily with each other. The car moving slowly, and at the time I saw the cars much front than the Proton Gen2 already moving. I pressed the accelerator, and...

"BAM!!!". I hit the Proton Gen2.

Suddenly, I became a center of attention of everyone at the scene. One driver at the opposite lane shouted to me from inside of their car, "Your car looks terrible".

I would call the person I hit as a "Victim Uncle".

The Victim Uncle got off from his car while in the middle of the road and looked at the back of his car while angry at me. I also went out from my car and asked the Victim Uncle to park our cars at the side of the road and discuss. I thought it was mine and his car only, I was wrong. There was another car involved. It was a chain reaction.

I hit the Proton Gen2, the Gen2 hit the Proton Saga, in front of his car.

After I parked my car at the side of the road, I called Viki. I wanted to ask for his help as I panicked and pretty shaky. He did not answer the call, maybe he was in the factory. Then, I called my mother several times before she answered my call. In the meantime, I messaged into the company's Whatsapp group as I did not know what else to do.

The response as following

The thing was, the most damaged was my car. The bonnet of my car dented, but the lamps were still intact. Not too bad at first, as I was just about to crank up the speed before the accident took place.

My car

Victim Uncle's car

The Proton Saga

His back of the car, nothing happen. No dent or whatsoever. So with the Proton Saga. The only damage happened to his car was, the radiator of the engine was leaking as he accidentally hit the front car, which was Proton Saga.

The driver of Proton Saga said, "Our car is fine, so you do not have to worry. Just settle with the Victim Uncle". Not long after that, the Proton Saga's driver left the scene.

The family of the Victim Uncle was mad, especially his wife. His kids also angry. I said, "I am on my way to go home from work". I could see they were having a hard time to believe what I said, maybe, (1) I hit their car, (2) My small size of physical, (3) My dress attire did not portray I am a working person. Yes, I wore T-shirt and jeans. No blazer and tie whatsoever.

The wife kept attacking me with harsh words, even though I apologised many times. The more I said "Sorry", the angrier she became. Then, I did not give a damn to her.

Before any conversations took place, there were several towing guys came to the scene. They talked about towing, insurance, police, money, and other jargon words which I could not fathom at that time. This was my first accident, and I don't know.

"The money in my purse was not even reach RM50, how the hell am I going to pay the guys and the Victim Uncle?".

My mother said in the phone call, "Whatever happen, solve it calmly and don't even give a penny to them. Go to police station and make a report, then use insurance money to fix things up".

My head could not think clearly, and I seriously need a back up. Then, Jeffery Yong arrived. Sharon, Kaley also arrived at the scene. Viki arrived not long after that. After some talking and the tow arrived, we headed to Rawang Police Station.

When my office mates arrived, the Victim Uncle and his family seemed to believe, I was from my workplace. Maybe they already set in their minds that I was a wild lady, maybe.

Then we went to police station. My boss also arrived at the police station to check on me. My self started to calm a little bit when I saw familiar faces around me.

I made a report first, followed by the Victim Uncle. The police asked to the Victim Uncle, "Where is the Proton Saga's driver?". As there must be a solid reason why the Gen2's car got damage at the front bonnet. The Proton Saga's driver must make a report as well although his car do not damage, just to verify the Victim Uncle's report.

My report will be compared with the Victim Uncle report, to make sure it is tally or not. Then, the Victim Uncle's report will be matched with the driver of Proton Saga. Otherwise, it will classified as a fake report.

The insurance company also will investigate about this before the claim is approved. Otherwise, the claim to repair the car will not be approved and we have to pay by our own. This was not my problem, this was Victim Uncle's problem. At that time, I feel bad because I can feel, I was a selfish. But yes, I had to save my self first.

Then, we proceeded to a traffic department to make a second report. The Traffic Sergeant will take our report, take the pictures of the cars, and give a summon. Yes, I got the summon, RM300 as it was my fault. Sharon and Kaley stayed until I completed doing the report. After I was done with the report, I left the police station.

By the time I wanted to left the station, I could see the wife of the Victim Uncle still mad, she kept pointing at me with her mouth mumbling words. I do not care, how they are going to go home or how they are going to reach the destination. I don't care. The harsh reactions from the family made me sick to deal with them. Right now, I feel cruel.

It was my fault, I admitted it to everyone, even the Traffic Sergeant said, "Most of the time, the offenders would not admit it was their fault when they hit others". Didn't I make it easier by admitting my offend to others? Then, why still be angry? You and I should be grateful it was not a major accident, and no injuries occurred and no blood involved.

I just wanted to go home. I was so tired and hungry. I just wanted to lay on the bed, and close my eyes. I don't care anything else.

So, the lessons from here:

1. Whenever accident happens, especially due to your fault, admit and apologise to make things easier. Never make a twist in your story as there will be many witnesses at the scene.

2. Call a back-up, especially for ladies. Does not matter who, just call anybody, your father, husband, boyfriend, office mates, friends, etc. Under this circumstance, you will surely feel panic. However, seeing some familiar faces surrounds you will at least bring a comfort to yourself.

3. Expect to become a center of attention in a split of second. Like in one minute ago, you were just a normal person who was on your way to go home. Suddenly, in the next seconds, you are an offender and every eyes will be on you. So, brace yourself.

4. There will be tow guys with their tow truck at the location. Even I, myself impressed how they knew about the accident and reached at the scene quickly. They will talk about money, insurance, and many things that you never want to bother before this. Whatever it is, do not fall to this unless you clearly understand what are they talking about.

5. Never, ever give money/cash to the tow guys/victims and never sign any document. The only document I signed was the police report.
6. If you have the opportunity and feel alright, maybe you should do some good deeds to the victim. For instance, give some money just as a compensation. At least, it will cover their cost of transportation to go home. I did not do that because I did not think about this at the time.

7. Focus on the road while driving, things could be much worse if you drive very fast. Speed can kill.

So, that's all from me people. I hope you can get something useful from here. Take care and see you in the next entry.

Salam w.b.t and chow!

P/S - I already got my car, Alhamdulillah. I think I want to contact the Victim Uncle later, I feel cruel before this.

Random Thought

Most of the time,

I have many things going on in my head,

As well as in my chest,

But,

I am still unable to choose which one I want to address first.

I don't know,

That is the truth.

On the outside,

I can still smile,

I can still laugh like a fool,

I can still sing my hearts out,

Dancing like nobody cares.

On the inside,

I am breaking,

I am torn apart,

The feeling of emptiness starts to flooding me,

And I am about to drown,

I don't know how to swim,

Irony.

I don't know.

If only I can show you the heart of mine,

To prove to you how bad I am injured inside,

You will be surprised witnessing the damages you had done to me,

If only I am strong enough to present it to you.

But, I don't know.

It is useless effort,

Just to take out my heart and prove it to you,

I love my heart,

I will keep it inside there,

So as the destructions had done to it,

Time will heal, they say.

I believe them.

Time will heal.

P/S - Random thought as I don't know what else to do apart from thinking random things. Confuse, aye?