Quick Life Update 6

Salam w.b.t and hi all. 

Foos ur doos? Me, I pecking. (Well-done you if you managed to understand it without Mr. Google assistance)

It is been a while.

I would like to give a quick update about myself here.

 

1. Technically, I am busy with work. Talking about work, it is not that so difficult work to do, it is just a lot. I had to spend some times and need a lot of patience.
2. REMAIN FOCUS AND MOTIVATED, things I have been struggling for a while. I need a booster!
3. My sleeping pattern last couple of days was so fucked up. I slept at 7 pm, woke at 2 am. Slept at 8 pm, woke up at 3 pm. I dinnae ken why. Probably, the sun started to rise early as here is early of spring. Basically, Subuh is around 4 am.
4. First time I need to speed forward my clock 1 hour ahead due to Daylight Saving. It started last two days. I was like a neap, asking people at the office about this as I was freaked out if I miss my bus to work.
5. I will visit Kak Hani in Netherlands next Thursday. I will spend 4 days, 3 nights day. Hopefully all will go well, and I will share the experience once I got back, InsyaAllah. Please pray everything will go well :) Thanks.
6. Colleagues at work, some are nice while some are not. Well, we are all human being. Nobody perfect including myself.
7. Oh My English. My language is so terrible. I believe, it depends on my mood. I realised, I can speak English properly if I feel like talking. Other than that, it is like shite. I need to learn to control myself better.
8. I don’t know when I want to go back to Malaysia for holiday. I don’t have any plan yet.
9. It feels lonely sometimes. Actually, most of the times. Looking at others who are their girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, husband, wife, kids, and dogs. Me, just with myself. I won't deny, it is tough being alone here, at the corner of the world.

So, that’s all from me now. Hope you are doing well.

Salam w.b.t and chow. 

P/S - Excuse my French

"Are you doing alright?"

Salam w.b.t and hello folks.

 

When at work, people will ask me, "Are you doing alright?"

 

This question is similarly like asking, "How are you doing?", "Are you doing good?", in Scottish/Aberdeen style.

 

I will normally nodded and smile. Yes, I always put smiley face.

 

I seldom being open to people, only to certain person I can be honest. However, the personnel who I like to share and listen to is absent. He is on leave for couple of weeks, I guess.

 

And today, another personnel asked me, "Are you alright?".

 

As usual, I nodded and smiled. Seriously, as usual and I hardly shake my head to say things are not okay for me.

 

He basically said, "You smile, so you are doing alright".

 

What he failed to realise was, the level of sincerity of my smile. It complicated and confusing, right? I know, this is what woman does, make stuffs complicated.

 

Listening to his respond, it hits me.

 

Generally, people assume me, smile = alright.

 

I don’t blame them.

 

Then, I reflected myself. I am not doing alright lately and I am not being honest to others.

 

Most importantly, I am not being honest to myself.

 

I have been struggling a bit, in many aspects. Lately, it is just that I find it is difficult to keep myself focus and motivated. I don’t know what are the factors and why, but it happens.

 

I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, so I pretend I can handle it and - smile.

 

Act like nothing bothering me, with hope that time will swallow all things that distracting me.

 

I came across this phrase several days ago. It best describes what I feel and what am trying to do.

 

 Putting shitload aside, and try to live.

Also, several days ago, I said to a colleague, "I hit the bed early last night, because somebody pissed me off and I don't want to say a name".

His reply was, "I can't imagine your reaction when you are angry".

You see here, I smile a lot and people can't picture how am I going to react when I am mad. Yeah, I am still new here and old friends who know me understand how I react when I am angry.

 

P/S - I find it is hard to find a good listener. Pheww.... La tahzan :)