Realization of a field engineer

Salam w.b.t and hello all,

This time, I will write about the reality of working in the Oil and Gas (O&G) industry as a field engineer.

I find that, it is time to write about it as I am field engineer, working in this upstream business for nearly 5 years. For senior professional will think 5 years is nothing when you are in this business. It is nothing, and I agree with them. However, I am not here to discuss about seniority in the oilfield. I will write down based on my experience as a field engineer.

Salary is high, life is low

When I was recruited, and started in UK back in 2016, the starting salary as a trainee was approximately USD5000 per month, before tax. So, after tax with other reductions, it was closed to USD4000, exact number I don’t remember. Still, looking at this figure, it was still higher than starting salary in Malaysia. After conversion, can range between RM15,000 to RM19,000.

My first salary, I paid off my student loan, my mother's credit card, debt, and family expenditure that was backlogged for  months.

It was a relieve 💓

On the low-side, I gave up my life since then. Living away from my family, disconnected from my friends, missing all the important events back at home. I was not there when my grandmother passed away. I was not there when my sister went through operation. I was not at home when my mother had to deal with hardship.

I was not there.

Upskilling, I should have started it earlier

Schlumberger offered excellent training program and career progression. None denied it, great in teaching you how to do your job properly and professionally. Over time, it is no longer relevant and I should have known this back then. It did not click in my head until last year when I was over it, thinking of switching my job. (I am still looking for another job 😄 )

You know, when you want to put your resume to the recruiter, what skills you can bring to the table? Soft skills - good team player, leading, perform well under pressure, etc. This is fine.

Then, come the questions, what are the technical skills that can fit you to the job profile? I reflected all the training I attended at Schlumberger and jobs I have done.

• Drilling the well from top section to TD without failure or NPT
• Fastest and best ROP
• Logging while drilling
• Programming tools - TeleScope, EcoScope, adnVISION, etc..

And many more jargon words that recruiter + outside SLB + different sectors, they don’t understand any of the bit I talked about. Looks like "Wow", then so what?

Thus, I am struggling in this part. I should have not rely solely on the in-house training provided by the company. When you joined the company, the training they gave you is how to fit into the company, do your specific job as you are hired for it, and it was very specific to your job. During the first 2-3 years, you will not get any formal skills that you can sell it to other employers. I should have broaden by knowledge and skills, so my resume can fit anywhere required in any industry.

Yes, after Grade 11 (G11), you can probably sell your resume to other employers as G11 is now considered as employee in the Management/Office group, no longer Field population.

I should have positioned myself where I can get the best from each part of the job - field, technical, management, soft skills.

Save money and invest it wisely

It is easier to forget yourself when you have a lot of money in hand. Imagine, you have let say USD10,000 untouched in your account. I said untouched because you are busy working, don’t have time to spend the money right….

And at one point, you will have your vacations or days off, that’s when your desire to spend so much money come. Without calculation, you will buy this, that, spending on things that you don’t actually need, but you buy it because, of course, why not? Who have been working your ass off so you deserved it, right?

That’s true and not true as well. Yes, you are deserved to get the benefit from your money after you worked so hard for it, but be wise. Have some saving as well.

If you want to invest, you can do it as well however make sure you do it with knowledge and aware of the risks coming with it.

Look, right now the world is going to recession period and unemployment rate is unbelievable. From US reports, the US employment is closed to 1930 Great Depression period and 2.6 million people has seek for state unemployment aid. The future is full of uncertainties. The oil price dove down to negative, never seen in history and yet it happened.

Yes, O&G sector offered you a lot of money when things are all wine and roses. However, you can lose everything when things gone sour. This is especially true for these groups;

• Not spending the money wisely
• Tied to unnecessary commitments
• Investments with high risks
• No backup plan or saving
• No side hustle or additional side income
• Many more..

I am not saying, don’t invest, not spend your money, etc. No! I don’t mean that, I mean be wise, things can go haywire in this industry. O&G sector is no longer a gold mining industry, it is easily affected by external and internal factors.

It is very vulnerable, please bear this in your mind.

Slowly losing control of my life management

As an employee, we have a lot of benefits offered by the company and I am grateful for that. Different employee groups, have different benefits. Therefore, all of us are not the same. Let me share with you some of the benefits I received as my current seniority working at the company.

• Housing
• As I am based in Qatar, it is part of government rule to have housing provided by the employer. Yes, so accommodation are provided by the company. Accommodation, utility bills, internet bills, housekeeping, transportation are all taken care of by the company and provider. You must think, "That’s really great! You are lucky". Yes, it is great and yes I am lucky.
• However, over time, I realised I have lost control some part of my life. I am no longer taking care of management of my life. This way has make me too dependent on the external party, in this case the company. I can no longer make decision on what kind of house I want to live in, why? Simple reason - company has arranged it.
• Vacation allowance
• Even we got the vacation travel allowance and we are not worried about how we can save money to travel. We have allowance for travel! So, when the company reduce it for the cost saving it, people are losing their mind. Why does people losing their mind? Because we are depending on it for travel.
• Health insurance
• This is good actually for everyone who is working. As it is provide protection. For this part, I am happy. At the start I was very comfortable and I thought no need to get another insurance protection. Slowly I realised, my family is depending on me and I have many responsibilities pending. If something happen to me, it will be tough for each of us. Therefore, with this realization I started having the insurance coverage for myself as for now.

Female at the rig

95% of the time, I am grateful I am female working in the field because it has many advantages.

However the other 5%, sometimes I wished I am a male. So, I don’t have to worry of changing the clothes, praying room, using the bathroom because all the facilities are completed - for male employee.

For female, 9 out 10 rigs I have been to, no facilities for female employees. So, I would consider myself lucky if I can get my own room, without sharing with any female personnel on the rig. This is because, you can enter your room, get change, use bathroom, relax at any time you want. If you are sharing with another female, you cannot disturb them as they are off shift. If I got a roommate who is understanding and willing to tolerate, I am lucky. So we will make each other life easier.

Sometimes, when the bed spaces are limited, I will need to share with a male. So for the last 4.5 years since I am here in Qatar, I am lucky I just shared twice and it was really awkward. It was my colleague, but still I don’t feel free.

Working as a field engineer, not everything is bad. It has both pros and cons, similar as other profession. I think I will share it in another entry, more about the positive side.

That’s enough for now. Thank you for reading and take care people. Stay safe and Ramadhan Kareem.

Salam w.b.t

P/S - I am doing day shift, still at Lovanda Rig. Day #3 of fasting.

Ramadhan ya Ramadhan

Salam w.b.t and hi all,

How are you doing? Things are going well with you? I hope you are doing fine.

I am doing alright. Currently working on the rig called Rig Lovanda, I would say it is quite close to Iran border. I have been here since 15th April, relieving my colleague. This rig is brand spanking new, it is good. Internet provided, and I got my own room. Initially when I arrived I was assigned to a room share with the female trainee. However, after some discussions with the person in charge, I managed to get a room without sharing. The reasons were;

• I will be doing 6-6, and the other will do 12-12. We will disturb each other
• There is no changing room and bathroom designated for female crew, again, we will bother each other when we enter the room
• Easier for me to enter and pray in the room, rather than sharing the musolla with the rig crew

Overall, I am glad I got the room for myself.

I don’t have anything particular to write about now. It is quite random time I wrote this entry. I am on my shift now, working and not too busy now.

I called my mother last week, a day before I departed to the rig. Also, texted her from time to time. So it was alright.

Maybe I should address that I am grateful because I still have a job, and actually working. In this tough situation in this Oil and Gas industry, too many variables have affecting the workforces. The Covid19 has created the Domino effect around the world.

Therefore, I am grateful for that. Though, I am struggling with the motivation to keep myself up.

I will be Ramadhan soon, approximately 3 days left before entering Ramadhan. Time flies really fast.

I have been complaining a lot, but I did not do anything to change it. That’s the problem actually.

Why don’t I do something about it? That’s a good question.

Till then.

Salam w.b.t and stay safe everyone.

P/S - Ramadhan ya Ramadhan

Keep marching on!

Salam w.b.t and hi all,

How are things going so far? I would like to make a quick update.

I am aware, it is a tough time for everybody especially for the fresh graduates. In this challenging time, please don’t give up in looking for a job. You will not get your dream job straight away, but now it is about survival - get a job to continue living.

I, myself has started updating my resume, LinkedIn, profiles on company pages, in fact start sending out job applications. At the start, no reply from any of the company. However, I managed to get a hang on several recruiters via phone calls and emails. I would not say recruiters, but they are personnel who sort out resume in early stage of job application.

What are these personnel doing? For example, they have 200 applicants for a particular job, then from 200 applications, they will narrow it down to 100 applicants. When they resume the recruitment process, they will take from 100 applications they screened earlier.

In my opinion, the personnel involved with HR, recruiters are quite active now since they are working from home. In normal office environment, maybe they don’t have time and space to sort out and reach out to applicants.

The conclusions are;

• Don’t give up.
• Update your resume.
• If you haven't done this, sign up on LinkedIn and update it.
• There are free learning materials in LinkedIn as well, utilize it.

Keep fighting! Aja aja fighting! Hahaha..

Salam w.b.t and take care all.

P/S - I read a book about Ronda Rousey last year, and recently watched documentary about her on Netflix. It is a great motivation to keep fire in yourself lit.

First entry of 2020.

Salam w.b.t and hi guys.

Wowowowo…look at this. Last entry was back in July 2019, nearly 9 months ago!

How are you doing?

As we are well aware, world has been overwhelmed with Covid-19 pandemic. I don’t want to discuss about it this time, but I would like to highlight that now we have plenty of time. I came across this recently, and it hits me hard.

As one of a start, I am writing this entry. Let's consider this as a warm up, shall we? Hehehe :)

First, I am still in Doha, Qatar. I returned from an offshore rig on Thursday, 26th March. Since then, I have been standby in Doha.

The Corniche, Doha

Second, I am staying in a tower in Doha known as Fourty Four Tower, Westbay with my three housemates. I have been living here for nearly 1 year and 3 months. I moved here sometimes in December 2018. However, I hardly recognised this place, let alone Doha as Home. It is been a long time since I arrived in Doha, will be 4 years by end of 2020. To me, it is like a temporary place or a transit. I identified the main reason is, I don’t have any emotional connection to this country.

Unlike Australia, a tiny bit of my heart always remained there in Perth. It always feel good when in Perth.

Kings Park, Perth shot before my graduation day. 

Third, similar in Malaysia, Qatar also implementing the Restrict Movement Order. Since my returned from rig on Thursday, I have been filling up my time since then with some activities.

• Finished fasting to cover for days I missed last Ramadhan.
• Managed to finish the book written by Michelle Obama, Becoming. I have been dragging since Jan, Feb, and finished it on 30th March. Really inspiring. From time to time, watched the speech of both Barack and Michelle Obama on the Youtube.

  

  "For me, becoming isn't about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn't end" - Michelle Obama.

• LinkedIn has been offer free learning course for one month. So, I finished several courses and one of it is the Cert Prep: Project Management Professional. I am interested to advance as a project engineer, so I took this course to understand what is it about as well as a way to enhance my knowledge on project management. The link is here if you are interested to learn it: https://www.linkedin.com/learning/cert-prep-project-management-professional-pmp/welcome
• Watched the Self Made on Netflix. Based on the real life story of Madam CJ Walker.
• Watched Dilwale. To me, the storyline is nothing extraordinary. The only thing standout was the songs, Gerua and Janam Janam. Of course, the scenery of Gerua video shot in Iceland made it famous. Breathtaking view.
• This is the latest one, just finished it last night. Crash Landing On You. Oh My…., as always, Korean dramas always make the heart of the audience fluttered, romance in the air, the imagination of love way too perfect. And I am not excluded. While watching the series, I have been reminding myself to hold myself together. This is drama, not reality. Hahaha…well, still cannot get over it.

  

  The main actors are too perfect to be real. Also, Switzerland, now is in my must visit country list. 

• Well now, adding to the list is writing this entry.

Fourth, I have been trying to adopt a healthy lifestyle slowly.

I have started running since February 2020. What drives me this time? It was thebody weight. Before going to offshore rig, at the check in counter, we will take the body weight as well as the bag weight. For body weight, there is no limit but this time, when I checked-in in early of January, it was 60kg. At the screen, it was 132lb, at that time it did not register in my head. Normally was 126-127lb and I did not bother too much. After seeing 132lb, I immediately made a conversion and it was 60kg!

What! Where is this extra weight coming from?!

Then I made self-reflection of my lifestyle in the last 6-7 months. Several points I realized were;

Rig with the sunrise background

• I have been working offshore half of the time last year, to be specific from June 2019 until February 2020. In offshore, less physical demanding unlike land rigs. There is a gym provided, but I was not interested to go there. I finished my working shift, straight go to sleep.
• I also realised, I hardly sweat at any given time when doing any physical works. At the same time, I kinda have short breathing, and one rig personnel asked me if I am a smoker. As he said, it is normal for a smoker. These alarmed me.
• Apart from that, food provided in offshore facilities are marvelous. If you have a poor self-control, you can eat anything at any time, which I did.
• Reward to myself in terms of food. This is a major flaw. Every single time, once I completed any jobs, achieved something, I always treat myself a good food. For example, came back to Doha after finish my hitches, I will go for good food. I will eat as much as I can, don’t care the price. Indirectly, I treated it similar to revenge of not having decent food at the rigs. Buy expensive drinks, normally from Starbucks. Hot chocolate, Frappuccino of various flavours, various sizes, cakes and cookies. I convinced myself, "Well, I deserved this after long hitches". 
• My housemate, Claudia has created a Netflix account for me. So I can watch the TV at any time. I have spent nearly 50% of my days being sedentary in the couch watching Netflix while eating food ordered online.

All these combined together has made me heavier than I should. I used to maintain around 55kg without any exercise or physical activities. At the same time without I realised, my blouses, jeans also started to become tight at certain areas like shoulder, back, hips and they were no longer comfortable. I stopped wearing those for some times unconsciously. In the meantime it was winter, I wore shirts and big pants covered with winter jackets. That’s why I did not pay much attention.

My colleagues in Dukhan where we had pizza, McDonald last March. We walked nearly 2km from the rig to the Dukhan local shopping place.

This self-reflections, led me to change my lifestyle slowly. First, I started with slow jog in Westbay. It was tough and my body, muscles, legs all were in pain after I managed to intermittently ran for 6km. The day after, I did not want to run in open area as my body was so much in pain. Otherwise, it will look like I am hopping on the road instead of jogging. So I decided to go to gym. It was great, alternately cycling and running on treadmill. I went home in Feb for 4 weeks, I have been running every day for ~6km with 6-7km/hr. pace. My body, muscles, legs are now get used to it.

I really enjoyed the sweat came out from the exercise.

Now due to movement restriction, I decided to work out in my room for at least one hour. I did the dance workout following the Youtube. Again, I want to keep my body moving and sweating. Try to keep this going and once the situation back to normal, I am planning to hit back to the gym. I bought the body weigh scale recently, and weigh my body from time to time. I managed to maintain between 55-56kg. It will be 56.5 kg if I ate too much. I am planning to reduce a bit more at least 52-53kg, at least my BMI will fall within a good range.

Yep, I think that’s pretty much of what's going on with me now.

I have a lot of things going on in my mind which I would like to share with the readers. I will try to keep this blog alive.

Thank you for reading and be safe all.

P/S - Feel free to let me know if you have any questions related to anything, UWA, Perth, Doha, Schlumberger, Drilling, anything.

Eid Mubarak 2019 All!

Salam w.b.t and hello all,

Wow, wow, wow, wow.it has been a while. I mean it is a long time since I updated my blog.

How are you guys doing? I am doing alright. I have a lot of things that I need to update on this blog.

I have time now. So, I would like to update my whereabout for the last 1-2 months.

I was offshore, then get off the rig. I went home on 31st May, off course for a vacation with Eid celebration. The initial plan for vacation was 3 weeks.

First off, I just bought one way flight ticket to go home. For the return, I did not buy because I was not 100% sure if I will be back on 23rd July. The date I told the managers. Well, normally it can be earlier or later depends on the operation.

I travelled home and my mother and my second sister picked me up from the airport at night.

Week #1

It was quite busy as we were preparing for Eid. Packing bags to go back hometown in Pahang, cooking, shopping for groceries, and all. Typical family preparation for celebration - You know it better!

So, all four of us went back to our kampung in Felda Chemomoi, Bentong, Pahang. To my surprise, all the members will celebrate their turn at our kampung. So, it was a huge gathering. They did not know I was back until I arrived. Met the family members, my cousins, aunties and uncles as well as my grandfather's new wife with her kids.

My family on my mother's side is not that extensive. So, it was good to catchup and meet with them. I remember my cousin - Muttaqim the last time I think I saw him was ages ago. When he was in his secondary high school - Maybe. I don’t remember. Now, when I saw him, I saw a young lad. No longer a boy who is running around with a pampers full with poo. Duh..time flies really fast.

 

Muttaqim and Atok


Pretty much that's our family member on my mother's side



After staying at kampung, we went back to our home on the second day of Eid. The traffic was not too bad. As it is well known to be a very congested traffic on highway during any major celebration in Malaysia.

 

Ladies yaw

Towards the end of Week #1, we were preparing for our small family vacation at Kuala Terengganu. 

 

Week #2

 

We departed to Kuala Terengganu on Saturday. Departed very early in the morning around 3AM. Took turn to drive between me, my mother, and my sister. Off course, I just drove for one hour and slept all the way as I had not fully recover from the jet lag.

We were closed to the Draw Bridge. Fortunately, the grand opening of this bridge happen during our vacation

We were staying in Kuala Terengganu for 4 days, 3 nights. We rent an apartment - complete with kitchen, living room, 3 bedrooms, and facing the ocean. It was great.

 

Houses, cemeteries, and beach that can be seen from the apartment's balcony



Visited Taman Tamadun Islam. Various replicas of famous Islamic attractions around the world. One of it is Masjid Suleiyman from Instanbul

At Pantai Batu Burok

After the short vacation in Kuala Terengganu, we finished off the remaining week in Batang Kali. My youngest sister went back to work.

Did I tell you that my mother has a lipoma at her back? She has it since early of this year. The size was quite big, 10 by 10cm, she worried but she did not want to go for operation to remove it. The reasons were (1) it is not growing anymore, (2) not cancerous, thus not dangerous, (3) expensive.

Then I advised her, (1) we never know if it is actually will stop growing. If it is stop, that’s good. But what if it is not?, (2) That’s good as it is lipoma only, which means this can be removed immediately by a small surgery, (3) Don’t worry about cost.

So, I brought her to KPJ Rawang to kind of force her. But, in reality it was expensive. So towards the end of the Week #2, we have been surveying small clinics to see if they can do the operation. At the end, we came to the clinic closed to our home. The name of the doctor was Dr. Deep but he said this lipoma is too big and the amount of anesthetic in his clinic will not suffice. So my mother need to go to real hospital with operation theater.

Before we left, he suddenly called us in and said he can refer to his friend, a general surgeon at Hospital Ampang. It will be a bit expensive, but when we compared with KPJ, definitely 3 times cheaper. So, I said to my mother, lets do this.

The name of the doctor is Dr. Akbar.

 

Week #3

In this week, not much actually as I was preparing to go back to Doha at the end of the week. We got in touch with Dr. Akbar by Whatsapp and phone calls to arrange appointment, verbally describe the lipoma and all, (unbelievably supportive) and he said he will try his best to get a session on Monday and Tuesday. Then, he said it will be very busy so he only managed to get the session on 25th June, the next week.

So, we were fine. For me, since I haven't booked any flight yet, I can extend for another one week to accompany my mother.

 

Water dam closed to our home in Kuala Kubu Bharu

Throughout the week, I managed to fast for 3 days. Chillax at home, finished reading several books. Had a mini open house as my mother's cousin, practically my uncle came to visit us. Excellent. Also, went out for shopping to buy stuff for me to bring back to Doha.

Also I have promised to meet up Kak Daeng and Aisyah when I come back to Malaysia. However, I could not make it. This week has been a little bit of overwhelmed for me. I just wanted to relax and have me-time.

 

Week #4

Been busy accompanying my mother for her surgery. She admitted into the hospital on Tuesday morning, had surgery later in the evening. It was two hours surgery, and overall nearly 4 hours in the OT. As she entered, her blood pressure skyrocketed, and Dr. Akbar was preoccupied with other patients. After she finished, she stayed in the monitoring room for more than 1 hour as no nurses available to transfer her back to the ward.

My mother at Pantai Batu Burok before operation. She was worried.

After that, she was wheeling out of the OT to the ward. She was already awake, and one hour later she ate the porridge and fillet O' fish burger bought from Mc Donald opposite to the hospital.

Me and my second sister overnight in the hospital ward to accompany her.

The next day around 5.00PM, she got discharged from hospital. She was doing fine after she got discharged. The next day, she went to the morning market, supermarket, and drive around to buy durian and all the exotic fruits for me. So I can eat before I go back to Doha.

Two days after that on 28th July, I was on the flight travel back to Doha. I used Sri Lankan airline and transit in Sri Lanka. Arrived in Doha at night.

Well, that’s pretty much what's going on with me last month.

Now I am at the rig - land rig, as usual drilling.

Before I came to this rig, I told my mother, I am disappointed and I want to come home for good. She said, come back if you firm with my decision. I think I will share on separate entry on this particular event.

But, I really want to go home for good.

Take care for now and see you again in the next entry.

Salam w.b.t.

P/S - I read "This is going to hurt" by Adam Kay. I bought it at KLIA while waiting for departure to Doha. I read the synopsis at the back of the book, immediately smitten by it. It was hilarious and I giggled alone most of the time. Find this book, it is worth to read. As a doctor, he contributed his piece on this book. When I compared to what I am doing now, I have nil contribution in developing the society. Duhhh...

Hi All

Salam wbt and hi guys.


It has been a while.


Nothing much interesting going on with me so far.


At the moment, I am at the rig known as Mick O' Brien. First time here and I have been here nearly two weeks.


It has been slow and steady operation.


I don't really like the environment at this rig.


Maybe it is new rig to me, new client, new crew. So I am not used to.


Since it is slow and steady environment, I have been using this opportunity to look for something else.


I applied for New Zealand scholarship - It got rejected. It is ok.


I applied for several jobs on LinkedIn. This has been routine by spending 2/3 of my shift doing this.


Scrolling and looking for opportunities to pursue studies at higher level. However, I am not sure what course I want to do without the feeling of I will be struggling.


I also have been thinking of the next job I want to go for. One of it is project engineer, in my perspective I will get opportunities involved with bigger subjects and widen my spectrum. Planning, decision making, making changes, and contribute.


Not just doing MWD Engineer thing - Repeat and repeat.


However, I do not specify the sector of the project engineer I want to be. The shortfall from this, I don't know what skills, certifications, qualifications, and experience required to fit into this position.


Applying jobs everyday wont land be a better position if I don't have what is required, right?


All I know, I want to do something bigger and contribute significantly to this.


But, I don't know how.


I think I will need external mentor to guide me.


I am totally blank.


I am with one of the MWD Engineer name Elaine, she is resigning and will leave soon.


This really strengthen my desire to find something better, and value added to myself as well as future development.


Previous month, I was working with Putri. She is now ex-SLB as she joins the client's company.


I mean, I will be over the moon if I can be the third engineer putting the resignation letter and go to another company. Right now, the current role is like working in the circus and doing a monkey business.


Maybe I don't fully understand of what is happening, regardless I don't want to spend another year to be in the stage of understanding. By that time, I will regret and saying I should have left earlier.


I am working on it to the direction in finding another jobs.


I want to achieve more, and I could not do it here with my current unexplored capacity.


I am welcoming any advices, insights, and guidance from you. I somehow feeling stupid.


Thank you all for reading.


Till next time.


P/S - Nothing to PS

It is no longer exciting

Salam w.b.t and hello guys,
If you noticed, this is my third entry for this year. I have been thinking and spending some amount of time in writing.
I am at the land rig, by the way since 29th Jan. I am here with Donnique, she is a new trainee. This is her third job after she arrived in Qatar, and her second hitch with me. She is fine, and still learning. Keep going as I keep telling her.
Do the job, make mistakes, learn from it. It was tough for me at the start to train a brand spanking new trainee, but it is fine.
Anyway, I am not writing to talk about the trainees. I would like to talk about what has been bothering me for the last 2-3 months.
I think I am starting to live in a routine, again. If you remember, 3 years back I had the same situation and I shared it on my blog. If you don’t know what I am talking about, here is the link: Tough Times
What I am doing right now as a field engineer starts to make me bored, truth to be told.
This is the same thing I have been feeling, and it is about to enter the third month.
You see, I am working as a field engineer based in Doha.
Overall, prepare the tools, tool calibrations, wait for any calls for job, then go to the rig, work. At the rig site, as usual drilling operation with I am doing 12-hours shift. Work for 12-hours shift, deal with whatever I have to deal, and finish my shift. Then go back to sleep.
The cycle continues….for how long? 2-3 weeks if it is a complete well.
Then go back to Doha repeat the cycle.
It starts to become a routine.
During the first year in Qatar (2017), I felt everything was very new and I was so busy in catching up with the jobs, meeting expectations, and all. So, I did not feel it as a routine.
Then, came a second year (2018), it was ok. Started to do the job on my own and understood most of the stuffs. Not a big struggle, workwise. However, half of my second year was influenced by my family. My sister was unwell, had to go for surgery, emergency leave, taking care of my mother, she is also a bit unwell now. I also had a muscle spasm at my neck and limited my movement as it affected my physical movement. It was painful. At the time, my job was like a background process. Yeah, I need money to support my life, but at this point I started to think "Is it really worth it?". Am I going to be like this for the next 2-3 years?
Now is my third year. I am starting to feel everything is no longer exciting. I mean everything. Job, Doha, people, money, environment. Everything.
I have been questioning, is this what I want to do for the next 1 month? 2 months? 6 months? Am I going to go through the same cycle again and again until year ends if I am lucky?
It starts to feel the same, I don’t feel the challenges anymore as I can read and already have my expectations of what will happen. I tried to push myself further, learn more, get promotion, increase in salary that kind of thing, but no.
I have tried many times.
Put money as my motivation - No success. I am not saying I don’t need money. But, whatever I earn right now is enough if I spend it wisely. So, money is no longer become my first and strong pulling factor.
I already voiced out my desire for relocation to my mentor so called manager, Farhat. At first, I explained I want to learn new things, tools, work with different clients as I already start to feel bored at the current client. Same politics, same people, same thing. This makes me to enter the comfort zone, and for me it is really scary. As that when I will start taking things easily and make mistakes.
If I am a good engineer at what I am doing, that’s good. However, my potential is not fully stretched yet.
I want to go somewhere else, different people, new environment, new challenges, and learn new things. Send me for loan to another locations, outside of Qatar, wherever. If there is no other place, it is ok, I can go back to Malaysia. However, I still want to work outside of Malaysia for another 2-3 years.
Deep inside me, I really want to move to Australia in particular, Perth. I miss this place so much. I don’t know why, but every time I think about this place, it makes my eyes teary. Even right now when writing it. I think as I grow older, I start to become emotional easily :')
Unfortunately, relocation is not an immediate solution and the way I see it, it is really far for me to reach it and frankly, I don’t even know if this is possible. Therefore, it hardly motivates me to keep going.
All in all, I have lost my motivations. I could not find any driving factors to push me forward.
Therefore, I do what I am doing just because I am doing it.
The last thing excited me was my time in Istanbul. In particular, the moment I stood at Halic Station where I can see overall of Istanbul. That was the moment I confirmed to myself, I made a right decision of coming here. That was the last time I felt full, last 19th January. 
I am in dilemma, really am. I am thinking to take unpaid leave for some time and embark on self-discovery journey, leave all these behind, try to figure out what I want to do and understand more about myself.
I don’t know.
I am lost. That’s affirmative.