2015, In A Nutshell

Salam w.b.t and hi all.

How are you guys been doing? Alhamdulillah, I am doing fine here. As we all know, 2016 is just around the corner. Time flies fast, I mean, really fast.

Time is gold. En route to Aberdeen from Paris

I remember the time I happy, cried, disappointed for various of things. The memories are still fresh, like it just happened yesterday.

A lot of things have happened. A lot of things have changed. Well, we are not living in a static world, are we?

In my head, I have many things to share on this blog but as usual, I don’t know what to start with. Thus, I think I will just share the highlights of events happened in my 2015 calendar.

 

Start working with SLB

It was exhaustive wait. People might know I am working in Aberdeen, but not everyone knows, how? After Australia, they changed my posting to Indonesia. Unfortunately, my work Indonesia visa did not approve as I did not meet the age requirement. I was 23 at the time. Then, the recruiter made drastic changes, he changed my segment and the posting location. I need to go for all the interview processes, all over again. As they can't simply assign me without knowing my capabilities.

I went to Labuan, again. Hehehe…I took it as a vacation.

Sunset view from staff house in Labuan

Making new friends

I make new friends. I work at Sepen, I make new friends there. You know what, during my last day of employment I cried. A colleague said to me, "Chill man, you just work 6 months here. So, chillex". Hahaha…



My last meeting with Sepen folks

Also, I make new friends in Paris. All are SLB new hired, we met in Paris during OFS-1. I never be in one room with so many nationalities, around 20 nationalities from around the world. Only me from Malaysia. I was quite scare at first, like my English is not so fluent. But, things sorted out well.

The largest batch in 2015 for EAF geomarket, they said

I have new friend here, her name is Kanoon. We are based in Aberdeen but stay at different staff house. Despite of different segment, we contact each other as we are still trying to settle down in Aberdeen. Actually, got several other trainees posted to Aberdeen, but I don’t have the pictures with them.

Me and Kanoon, she is from Thailand

I am sure I will meet more people in the future. I need to improve my social skills and also English, seriously. Haish…I am so not good at mingling around with people.

Miss old friends

I miss my friends, all of my friends although I am not being nice to everyone. I did not have a chance to meet up before I depart to the UK. Seriously folks. I miss you guys. All of you. I don’t want to specify the names, because it will be a very, very long list.



Friends

Therefore, I am extremely grateful and over the moon when some old friends randomly PM on Facebook. I really mean it. You know, when you are far from home, and your friends message to say hi, it is a great feeling. The feelings are like, "Owh man, this person still remember me. What a surprise!", "I have someone to talk to. Yuhuu!!".

Hahaha

Well, I know it is from Facebook, but still it is a great thing when the person still has guts to say hi to others.

 

New place, new environment, and being far from home

Home is where the heart is.

I don’t know how to describe this. But my adapting skill are being test to a whole new level. Freezing cold weather, sunlight for less than 5 hours a day, cultures, job, Scottish accent, foods, and many more. It is not easy I am telling you.

Apart from weather, their Scottish accent is quite a challenge for me

I am still adapting and it is challenging.

Despite of all the challenges, I always pray that I will never forget my responsibilities as His servant, my responsibilities as a daughter of my mother, and always stay down to earth. If I am changing, I hope that I am changing in a good way to become a better person.

Feel a "little bit" homesick at the moment

Experienced various of feelings

 

2015 is quite emotional year for me. Hahaha…I experienced various of feelings and emotions throughout the year compared to years before. I learn from the experiences, which kind of helping me to become a mature adult. Wihihihihi

Smile, do and pray for the best

Resolutions

I am learning from the past. I am drafting my 2016 resolutions, in my head. Hahaha….I haven't make my resolutions for the next year. Aiyaa….

But I have a personal diary already. My sister, angah gave it to me as a present. Wahaha…I am sure having a diary is a good start, isn't?

One iron woman, three daughters



I think that’s all I have on my mind at the moment. I hope we all will be successful in everything we do, and achieve success in this world and hereafter, InsyaAllah.

 

So folks, that’s it for now. I will write again in the future. As usual, take a good care of yourself.

 

Salam w.b.t and chow!

 

P/S - Great things are not easy to achieve, need a special formula and most important thing is PATIENCE

 

Quick Life Update 4

Salam w.b.t and hi all.

I did not post anything in last month. A lot of things have happened since last month, and I confused and too busy to think on what topic I want to write.

Thus, I think in this entry I will make it simple and sweet. Just in case anyone unsure, I am in Melun, Paris. Some of you may already know from my Facebook. I am here for one week, and today is the second last day.

1. I left my position as Project Engineer at Sepen Engineering. My last day of employment was on November 28.


2. I received my passport with visa to work in my assignment country on November 30. It was really, really close as I was due to leave Malaysia on December 6.


3. On December 6, I spent most of my time in flight. It was the longest flights I ever taken yet in my life. From KL, it was nearly 8 hours and I transit in Dubai for 2 hours. Then, from Dubai I departed to Paris and it took 8 hours as well. It was supposed to be 7 hours, but got a drunk woman, sat in front row of me, and she was not fit to fly. The crews took time to bring her out and to remove her baggage from flight. The situation was insane, I thought I will only see it in the movies. Anyway, I used Emirates Airline throughout the journey.


4. The jetlag I experienced was quite bad. I felt dizzy, headache, difficulties to sleep, and blur for like the next two days. But it was fine then.


5. I will leave Paris on 12 December to depart to my assignment location. I will share my location, later. Hehehe…


6. Also, I have a new wisdom tooth. It was painful like mad last week, but this week it is getting better. Hopefully, the tooth will be well behave from now on. I think I need to take care my personal health really seriously from now. Yes, no more taking personal health for granted.



SLB ELC, Melun

What else…I think that’s all for now. Just so you know, I could not share too details on what I am doing and what I experienced as the company put some restrictions on the information that can be revealed to public. It is not I am stingy, it just that my responsibilities to obey the rules and I don’t feel like creating any troubles.

Besides, the IT people in the company can access my laptop remotely. It is crazy, right….Haha…

Yes, I am publishing this entry from my-brand-new-SLB-laptop :)

I think that’s all for now. If you want to ask anything, just drop me a line. Catch you later, folks. Take care and chow!

Salam w.b.t.

P/S - The food here is nice, got halal at the accommodation as well at ELC. I am well-fed, so no argument here why I don’t look thin. 

Personal Diary

Salam w.b.t and hi all.

It is Mid of November, then December will come. So how are you guys doing? Unrelated, right? Hahaha…I am doing fine, well, great actually. Early of this month, I was quite sick, after taking some medications, I am doing fine, still recovering though.  :)

Believe it or not, 2015 is nearly comes to its end and 2016 is approaching. Time flies fast. In 2015, I did not list any resolution. Why, you may ask. The sole reason is, I was dumb.

Therefore, to avoid my poorly unintelligent manner from continuing, I am planning to make some resolutions. Of course, I will not share it now. I will share it later (may subject to change), but first of all, I will need to buy a personal diary.

Yeah, a personal diary.

I did make several window shopping recently, I went to bookshops to find a diary. However, all the diaries sell at the stores does not meet my taste. Well, you know…they are all standard kind of diaries. Like page with lines, months, black/dark covers, and also pages with phone numbers etc. Also, their size sometimes are too big, too small, too thick, or too thin. Too many "too-s" here.

In short, I haven't found the diary I want.

What I want is quite simple actually, "friendly-diary". Of course the diary must be friendly, I want to bring it with me to everywhere I go at anytime. Apart from that, it can be trusted.

Physically, I want the diary to looks professional, not bulky, beautiful colour (esp. the cover), and handy. For the inside pages, got months and days planner. Also, enough space for me to add any additional information on the page at any pages.

The price of the diary shall be reasonable. Well, I have to see it first, then, determine whether it is worth it or not.

If you guys know any places or websites which sell good personal diary, please let me know. I need to find it fast! Time is running out as 2016 is around the corner. 

I think that’s it for now. Salam w.b.t and take care folks.

P/S - Don't ever suggest me to buy a Tablet. 

Another Year, Another Number

Salam w.b.t and hi all.

Reaching 24 years old on the last three days, I get to know myself better.

Trust

I trust people easily, new friends and even a stranger. Yes, I am an idiot for trusting people easily. Every time I meet a new friend, I would love to think they are like a baby. You know, they are ‘white’, pure, nice and no bad side. Yeah, too ambitious right? Anyhow, that is how I want people to think of me, positive. Treat others like how we want to be treated, shall we?

Unfortunately, too much trust I give to people has taken its toll on me. Many events, but it is better to keep it to myself. My mother always advised me to be careful, different people have different heart. However, with the increase of my age, I am learning about people and from my experience. Hopefully, I will be wiser each day.

Style, Fashion, and Me.

Goodbye fashion and style. I am a cave girl. Jajajaja…

When I am angry,

When I am angry, I will be quiet. It is not I don’t have anything to say, it is I am trying extremely hard to stop bad words which are racing hard to get out from my mouth. Otherwise, I will kill others with my words, which I don’t fancy to.

When I am envy,

When I am envy to a specific person, I would not talk to that person for a certain amount of time. I would say I am taking some time to persuade or "pujuk" my heart. Weird, right? That’s how woman deals with her broken heart, I guess.

When I am waiting,

I cannot deal with a lateness or waiting for someone/something that is late. My blood will be pumped very, very, very fast when this happen. Impatient, yes I am. But, when you said meeting at 3 pm, 3 pm it is. It is not that at 3 pm you just started moving your ass from your chair. Understand?

I am stubborn.

This is a fact. I can tolerate on certain things, and also got certain things which I could not tolerate. For example, when you force me to do something I don't want. Let me give you an example, a colleague asked me to go somewhere to monitor the project progress. This fella kept forcing me, I don’t want. When I said I don’t want, means I don’t want. Period.

Anyway, I don’t blame this fella, it is in my DNA to against when people pushing me. But, it takes some arts if you want me to do something which against my willingness. People who understands me know the arts I mentioned.

I am not good in terms of social life

I am not good at maintaining relationship with others. I don’t know why, but when I befriended with a similar person for a long time, I will get boring. Let say, I meet that person every single day for six months straight, I will be boring. Seriously dull. I need to meet people, meet new people. I still got friends, but not many. Anyway, based on an online personality test, I am an introvert kind of person.

I think that online test was a fake. So, dear my future husband if you are reading this, believe me, the test was not genuine.

Routine

Falling into same routine every single day will kill me slowly. Nevertheless, at the moment I am trying my best to make myself calm and composed. I would love to see and experience something extraordinary every single day. So that I can reflect what I have gone through before I go to sleep and think what can be done better next time.

I think that’s all I want to share about myself. Some may take this entry as a way to understand me better, like understanding the reasons why Atiqah is so annoying. Some others may take this as disadvantage to manipulate me. Yeah, whatever.

Either way, I hope you have fun reading this. Hehehe…

Salam w.b.t and chow!

P/S – Who got extra money and don’t know how to spend it? Please, bank it to my account. I need money. PM me for details J

Harga Diri

Salam w.b.t dan hai semua.

Perasan tak?

Dalam kehidupan seharian kita, kita pasti akan ketemu dengan orang yang mesti kena berteman. Kalau tak berteman, atau dilihat keseorangan, mesti dianggap macam pelik atau kera sumbang, pada firasat dia.

Sebab itu, ada sesetengah orang akan berusaha gila-gila untuk membuatkan dirinya diterima dalam kelompok orang ramai.

Misalnya, seorang pemuda pada asalnya berambut hitam sisir tepi, dan berpakaian kemas apabila keluar bertemu rakan-rakan. Tetapi, bagi memastikan dia dikira sebagai “geng” dan nampak kamceng dengan kawan-kawannya, maka mulalah mengubah penampilannya.

Contohnya, rambut perang, pakaian pun ala-ala hipster, itu tak kira lagi lenggok bahasanya.

“Sial”, “Bodoh”, “Fuck”, dan lain-lain sering meniti di bibir, kononnya, barulah dikatakan COOL.

Pemudi pun tak dapat lari dari senario ini.

Kalau sebelum ini, rambut hitam lurus dan berpakaian sopan seperti kebanyakan gadis Melayu. Namun, nak mengelakkan diri tergolong dalam golongan kebanyakan, maka diubahlah penampilannya. Diwarnakan, dipakaikan topi ala-ala musim winter di atas kepala, disarungnnya skinny jeans. Kemudian, dilaunglah sekuat-kuatnya, “Aku UNIK”.

Golongan Muslimah pun tak terkecuali. Lahirlah Hijabster, Turban-ster, Kpop-ster. Macam-macam lah, -ster. Iyalah…mengikut peredaran zaman. Tidak mahulah dikatakan perempuan Muslimah ini jumud dan terkebelakang.

Itu baru dari segi penampilan. Hakikatnya, banyak aspek dalam diri manusia diubahsuai hanya untuk memastikan diri diterima dalam kelompok tertentu.

Hairan. Begitu mudah terpengaruh..

Kagum. Begitu banyak usaha, material, dan wang terbuang hanya untuk membuatkan diri diterima masuk dalam kalangan yang dikatakan, “GENG”.

Ya, mungkin juga masih mencari identiti diri. Mencarilah, kerana ia tak pernah dilarang.

Namun, janganlah dikorbankan perkara yang satu ini.

Iaitu, harga diri.

P/S – Kerana dirimu begitu berharga ;D

Anxiety

Salam w.b.t and hello folks,

Recently, I have difficulties to breath. I can feel my heartbeats become irregular. Also, I can feel my heart like wants to pop out from my chest. Sometimes I feel a headache. These symptoms does not happen at all time, but it takes place once in a while. I thought it was due to the haze that happens in Malaysia.

So, last two nights, I went to a clinic.

I explained to the doctor and she also checked my blood pressure, pulse rate, oxygen level, and others. From her finding, everything seems normal. The oxygen I breathe is around 99 percent, which is normal.

Then I asked her, “Why sometimes I feel my heart was pumping so fast and it was like the heart wants to tear my chest and get out? Is it possible because of the air quality currently caused my situation?

The doctor said, “Well, according to the readings here, all is normal. Maybe what caused you felt like that is the anxiety. However, I will give a medicine to enhance your breathing flow”.

“Owh, ok”, I replied.

Then I went out and waiting for my medicine.

Since then, I keep wondering. Yeah, wondering. Why do I feel those?

I think the doctor might be right.

Anxiety.

I will add some more.

Worry.

Afraid.

Most of them are negative feelings.

I think I spent most of my times by feeling anxious and worrying.

I have been distressing on many things at most of the times. I can feel my health starts deteriorating lately although it is unable to be proven on medical aspect. I don’t know, I just can feel it and I cannot help to avoid from feeling it.

I dislike it when I am in anxious state. It makes me grumpy, feeling I-don’t-care, and always want to say “fuck-off” to people. But the “fuck-off” thing did not exactly come out from my mouth, instead I said, “I don’t care, you settle this thing on your own”, which is not usually my style at work.

Therefore, judging on my conditions, I requested for 2 days leave from work from the doctor. Unfortunately, she only gave me one. Then, it is fine by me. One is better than nothing.

Yesterday, I just rested at home. It did not help much because last night, the syndromes I mentioned before attacked me. I did not feel comfortable, I kept changing places. From room at the back, to the front, to the kitchen, toilet and other rooms. To avoid my mother from asking, I pretending move here and there while doing some stuffs. This went on for like 20 minutes, and lastly I decided to try to sleep.

Yes, I manage to sleep but with tonnes of anxiety.

I don’t know what to do.

I know, as a Muslim turn to Allah SWT and seek His help. But yeah I think this might be His call for me to come back to him…but still, I can’t help it.

I think I need a break and take a short vacation to somewhere peace.

I really need to find a piece of mind, motivation, and new spirit.

P/S – Nothing interesting to ps. Oh got one, I just finished reading the Martian. Interesting story, the author maybe someone who used to work at NASA.

Quick Life Update 3

 Salam w.b.t and hi readers,

Okay, here the quick update.

1. Currently, I am reading the Martian written by Andy Weir.
2. 3rd October, will be the delivery of the big tanks. Not one, not two, but three. And towards the day, I am frickin' nervous. What could go wrong? Many! Hopefully, all will go well.
3. 16 Crystallisers, I am learning it from Miss Lau, the engineer .
4. The haze in my area is starting to subside. Sometimes, could be very bad. Few weeks back, I have difficulties to breath and chest pain. Haish…I did not wear facemask because I thought I was strong.
5. Raya Haji, was a-okay. My sisters came back home and stay for a few days.

That’s all for now. Not much, but I think enough to let the world know I am still alive.

Salam w.b.t and chow.

P/S - I will share the details on the tanks delivery in the upcoming entry.